Banned from zoo.
Again?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
