god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
