it wasn't lemon gatorade
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
