Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
