Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
