he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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