i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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