You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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