I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
