Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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