You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
