I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I cockslap morals
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize