I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
