Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
