There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
