just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
