So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
