you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
