He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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