Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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