Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
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the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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