Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize