watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
