How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
