It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
