I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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