i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
