Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
