Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize