it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
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I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
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I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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