i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Every concussion has its silver lining
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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