I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
