She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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