How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
