The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
