so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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