wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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