I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
