Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Is it penis luge time yet?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
