come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I yelled at your uterus for you.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
