I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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