My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I want a musical about memes.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
