Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
