how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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