But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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