I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
