so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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