what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize