You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
