hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I queefed so loud it echoed.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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