I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize