you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
