Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
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Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
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He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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