Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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