i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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