The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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