dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
