I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
