Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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