I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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