belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
