Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
