I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
